The Adventures of HieiMan, Spongebob and friends
by Morthie-Chan
Summary: Hiei seems to be having a very bad day aside from being forced to sell ahem...boy scout cookies. Hiei gets his nose broken, meets Yusuke's principle, because Mr.Krabbs-Aphobic, meets an evil teacher and is tortured to death by a couple of mad fan girls wi
1. The madness begins

Hiei gets a broken nose. SO SAD!!!!  
  
Hiei, Kuwabara, Yusuke and Kurama are all walking down the street to sell boy scout cookies. Yes boy scout cookies! Hiei: Death to the girl scouts!!! Kuwabara: I like girl scouts! Yusuke: Keiko's a girl scout. Kuwabara: Then death to the girl scouts!!! Yusuke: Sure Kuwabara, sure. Kurama: (light chuckle) They knock on principle Takanaka's door. Takanaka's cat answers the door. Hiei: O.O uh..cookies? Kurama: Hello kitty! Kuwabara: KITTY CUTE!!! (huggles kitty) Kitty: (flies at Hiei's nose and claws it to death) Hiei: AH!!!!! LET GO!!!! Kuwabara: I'll get it off you shortie!!! (throws mallet conveniently placed on the door step by a random person at the cat on Hiei's nose.) Kitty: (Jumps away) Hiei: (girly scream) YEEEEEEEE!!!!!!! Kurama: Hiei hit a high note! Hiei: (rolling on the ground holding his nose) Kuwabara: ..uh.did I kill him? (looks hopeful) Yusuke: Sorry to disappoint you Kuwa-baka but he's still moving. Hiei: (twitch) Kurama: Hiei? Hiei: ..IT HUUUUUUUUUUURTS!!! YOU BROKE MY NOSE YOU MORON! INJUSTICE!!!!!! REVENGE!! I DEMAND REVENGE!!!! Yusuke: Uh.dude? Hiei: (snaps) WHAT!? Yusuke: Your nose is broken. Kuwabara: And you call me an idiot. Kurama: (random) ROMANTIC SOLDIER!!!!! Kitty: (twitch) Kuwabara: AWWW!!! Poor Kitty!!!! Yusuke: (camera magically appears in Yusuke's hands. Yusuke talks in an Australian accent.) Welcome folks to Yusuke Urameshi's Demon Hunter show! Today we meet the fire demon Hiei! Does he have a last name? We don't know. (camera zooms in on Hiei) I wonder.is that little feller in pain? Hiei: I WONDER!!!!! Takanaka appears at door. Takanaka: O.O Urameshi? Kazuma? O.O Are those cookies? ^_^ I luv cookies!!! Hiei: I'm in pain here!!!!!!!!! Kurama: Yes we know. Takanaka: I'll take them all! Kuwabara: (hands Takanaka cookies) Kurama: Thanks sir! Have a nice day! Yusuke: Crickey folks! Hiei's not movin'! I wonder what the little critter's doin' now! Hiei: X_X nose.hurts. Lauren walks down the street near Takanaka's house. Using Lauren Otaku vision she spots Hiei in pain on the ground! "DUN DUN DUN! WHAT WILL HAPPEN?" Author (Morthoseth): YUSUKE DON'T MAKE ME TYPE YOUR WORDS IN THE NARRATIVE! AND QUIT TAKING ALL THE POCKY!!!!! Yusuke: Crickey! She's a mean one! Kuwabara: No duh. Morthoseth: YOU DARE CHALLENGE THE AUTHOR POWERS!!!!! I SHALL MAKE RAINING DUCKS FLY INTO YOUR HAIR AND EAT THE GEL!!! Kuwabara: OKAY JUST DON'T TOUCH THE GEL!!! Lauren: HIEI!!!!!!!!!!!! Hiei: (wakes up) ...my nose.hurts. No one notices the cast thingie on Lauren's nose. Lauren: Hiei are you okay!? Hiei: Nose..weird.plastic.AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! THE TREES HAVE DESCENDED!!! THE DUCKS ARE TAKING OVER AGAIN!!!!!!!! My tree. Morthoseth: Yo Lauren-chan! Lauren: Hark! Morthoseth: Are you harking me?  
  
(He-Man appears) TO BE CONTINUED!!!! 


	2. Boy Scout Cookies

Kurama: RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!!!!!!!!! Yusuke: THAT CONCLUDES TODAYS EPISODE! LATER FOLKIES!!!! Kuwabara: SHUT UP URAMESHI!!! Yusuke: Crickey! Morthoseth: Lauren-chan.why are you wearing a football helmet? Lauren: ...so my nose is not noticeable. Hiei: Good luck.Rudolph. Lauren: IT'S MOJO'S FAULT!!!!!! Hiei: Like Sodo Mojo? Morthoseth: (Taps Hiei, Kurama, Yusuke, Kuwabara and Lauren's shoulder.) Shouldn't we be running from He-man now? Hiei: Oh yeah. Lauren: AHHHHH!!! He-man: ATTACK BATTLE CAT!!!! Battle Cat: My name is George. He-man: I thought your name was Henry. Battle Cat: Oh..Yeah. Kurama, Yusuke, Kuwabara, Hiei, Lauren and Morthoseth have taken this chance to run off to the safety of a tree!!! Lauren: YEAHH! NOTHING'S SAFER THAN A TREE!!! Ms. Acosta appears. Acosta: ASHLEIGH AND LAUREN!!! SLAVE LABOR!!!! Lauren and Morthoseth: (horrified faces) NOOOOO!!!! THE TREE IS NOT ACOSTA PROOF!!!! NOOOOOOO!!! Yusuke: TEACHERS!!! RUNNNNN!!!!!! Mr. Betzler: Hi kids!!! Lauren: HAWAII!!! Morthoseth: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!! Rinku and Dr. Ichigaki appear. Rinku: MAUAHAHAHAA!!! Ichigaki: AAAAAAAAHHH!AHAHAHAHHAAAAA!!! Hiei: I NEED A HOSPITAL!!!  
  
Lauren: You and me Hiei-chan! You're so hot!! Morthoseth: NOT NOW FOOTBALL PLAYER!!!!!!! All the "good people" run for their lives. Lauren: TO THE BAT MOBILE!!! All stop and stare at Lauren. Lauren: ..Or the hospital. All nod and start running again. Kurama: ROMANTIC SOLDIER!!!!!! Morthoseth: That's really disturbing. Hiei: .Kurama.shut up. (They make it to the Hospital and Hiei is waiting to be treated in the ER room) Hiei: NOOO!!!!!!! NOT THE SYRINGE!!!!!!!!!!!! NO NO NOOOOOOOO! Lauren: I'll saaaaaaaave you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yusuke: GIMME IT BACK KUWABARA! I WANT MY CAMERA! WAHAHAHAAAAAAH!!! Kuwabara: (holding Camera way up high so Yusuke can't reach it.) Kurama: (on the phone) Yeah.mommy? I'm gonna be a little late to dinner tonight.and I can't watch Joe millionaire with you.or.Survivor. Sorry Mommy. Morthoseth: -_- poor Kurama.AREN'T YOU GAY KURAMA!? Shiori: SUICHI YOUR GAY!? AND IS KURAMA YOUR NAME OR SUICHI!? ARE YOUD DOING DRUGS!? ARE YOU HE-MAN IN DISGUISE!!!!??? Kurama: NO MOMMY!!!! I'm your sweet little baby boy!!! Morthoseth: This is one.odd.group of people. All stare at Morthoseth. Hiei: You just noticed that? Lauren: (huggles Hiei) Hiei: WATCH THE NOSE NINGEN!! Lauren: (puts Football helmet on Hiei's head) Hiei: ...yeah...sure..riiiiight.. Kuwabara: I SAW SOMEONE FIX A BROKEN NOSE ON TV! (of course.that was Telletubbies but they don't have to know that!) Hiei: Are you implying that you fix my nose? Kuwabara: PREPARE TO OPERATE!!!! (Grabs Hiei's nose) Hiei: LET GO LET GO LET GOOOOOOOOO!!! Kuwabara: (pulls the nose.) Hiei: OOOOOOOWWW!!! YOU BAKA NINGEN!!!! Lauren: O.O.Hiei? Hiei: WHAT!? Lauren: O.O .....Kuwabara let go. Hiei: O.O (blink) Oh.I see. Kuwabara: (comes back in with a scalpel and itching cream.) Hiei: BACK NINGEN!!!!  
  
Kuwabara: (laugh) Here we are!!! (All view is obstructed by Kuwabara's large form and Hiei can't be seen but some little arms and legs waving about trying to get away from Kuwabara and a whole lot of screaming.) Lauren: HIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEIIIII!!!!! Morthoseth: Calm yourself.he'll live. I hope. Lauren: O.O NOOO! Kuwabara: Whoops! Hiei: WHOOPS!? WHAT IS WHOOPS!? KAZUMA KUWABARA!!!!!!!!!!!!! Kuwabara: Uh.bye? (runs off) Hiei: DAAAAAAAMN YOU!!!! MY NOSE IS EVEN WORSE!!!! DAAAAAAAMN YOUUUUUU!!!! Doctor comes in. Doctor: Let's begin the operation. Hiei: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!!!!!!!! 


	3. MAKE IT STOP!

(Continuation) Hiei meets.Sponge Bob Square Pants!!! Hiei can be seen walking around Tokyo Square mall in search of a birthday present for the kitsune Kurama. Hiei- The man is older than I am for cripes sake and he's celebrating his birthday! .Damn you Kurama. Now I have to find you a gift. Hiei walked up to a random store and entered. All around the store was a yellow sponge with square pants. An annoying song blared over the speaker system. Hiei found himself starting to sing along to the tune. Hiei- Are ya ready kids? Aye Aye Captain! I can't hear you. Aye aye Captain!!! Oh.who lives in a pinapple under the sea? Sponge bob square pants!!! Hiei shook himself out of his daze and walked to the other side of the store. The sponge bob clothing section. Now Hiei saw a fat pink star fish wearing green and purple swim trunks. A cardboard cutout of the starfish waved and said: Hi! I'm Patrick Star! Hi I'm Patrick Star! Hi! I'm Patri- Hiei punched the machine for all he was worth then used the black dragon wave on the menace. Hiei- Annoying little star fish with a.big.fat.ass. Hiei turned his attention to the Squidward section, the kitchen isle. Hiei raised an eyebrow when he passed a card board cutout of squidward that said: I hate spongebob.(in that really annoying nasal monotone voice. Hiei picked out a frying pan for Kurama with a red crab on it. Under the crab it had dollar bill signs and the words: MR. KRABS. Hiei hurried to the check out. He paid for the item and raced out of the store only to find he was now underwater in a place called Bikini Bottom. Hiei screamed bloody murder and started black dragon waving everything in sight. Fishies, Sponges, Star Fish, Crabs, Jellyfish and a squirrel all ran around in terror. Hiei- GO AWAY!!!!! WHAT DID YOU DO WITH TOKYO!? WHERE IS TOKYO!? YOU MONSTERS!!! WHERE AM I!? WHERE WHERE WHERE!? Suddenly Hiei found himself in a giant pineapple. Hiei- O_O;; Hiei walked around for what seemed to be forever and found a fridge. He found Sweet Snow shoved in the back. And so he busied himself with some delicious sweet snow. He soon found he had a mondo brain freeze. So bad that he blacked out. 


	4. Poor Poor Poor Hiei

Yusuke- Yo Hiei!? HIEI!? YO HIEI MAN!!!!!! Kurama slapped Hiei awake. Hiei's eyes snapped open and he jumped to his feet and assumed fighting position, only to find Kurama, Kuwa-baka, Yusuke and Yusuke's idiot assistant Botan all looking at him like he was Kuwa-baka with brains. Hiei- WHAT DO YOU BAKAS WANT!? Kurama- Hiei.why are you holding a frying pan? Hiei looked down at his hand clutching the frying pan with MR. Krabs on it. Hiei's eyes widened and he let out a mighty shriek. Hiei- SPONGE BOB!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH H!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Kurama- ((puts on Ash Katchem Outfit and paints a basketball like a pokeball and throws it at Hiei)) GOTTA CATCH 'EM ALL!!!!! GO HIEI-MON!!!!! Hiei- WHY MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!? TO BE CONTINUED... ? 


End file.
